In Which I Become Bridget Jones
Miles run: 4
Burgers consumed: 1 Shack Burger (with cheese)
Fries: 1 serving
Cake had: small (ish) piece, marble half the frosting off
Twizzlers consumed: 5
So basically it's a wash. Why this loathing of self after exercising and enjoying food. Yes, I could blame by burger consumption on the fact that my sister refused to start dinner while I was running. I was in fact looking forward to turkey meatballs, with whole wheat spaghetti and Trader Joe's marina. And yes the fact that I had 5 Twizzlers today, has me in a shame spiral, only because I vowed no sugar today.
But why do I feel this way? Yes, yes, I know society puts pressure on women to be thin and perfect and have the ability to wear a size 0. Which I haven't fit since like um, never. I remember being a size 6, but then I had no hips and my breasts hadn't been seduced by the effects of Ortho-Tricyclen, leaving them inflated like so many helium balloons. I mean these things got bigger when I was 20, isn't puberty supposed to stop before then??
I could say that my obsession with what I put in my mouth on a daily, hourly basis is rooted in the fact that "it's the only thing I can control in my life" but I'm no bulimic or anorexic, just a typical American woman. Sadly this is true, we are constantly trying to lose that last 5, 15, 20, 30 pounds, whatever.
And while I have been making quite an effort over the last year, I've definitely lost inches, gained muscles, and lost about 15 pounds and am currently training for a half-marathon (yes, pat on the back). So yes, I should feel good about these accomplishments if you will, but, yeah there's always that voice in the back of your mind saying it's not enough. So yeah I get derailed occasionally, with crack pie at the Momofuku Milk Bar and photos of plates of fried chicken make me salivate. But I shouldn't feel bad about enjoying a meal.
Burgers consumed: 1 Shack Burger (with cheese)
Fries: 1 serving
Cake had: small (ish) piece, marble half the frosting off
Twizzlers consumed: 5
So basically it's a wash. Why this loathing of self after exercising and enjoying food. Yes, I could blame by burger consumption on the fact that my sister refused to start dinner while I was running. I was in fact looking forward to turkey meatballs, with whole wheat spaghetti and Trader Joe's marina. And yes the fact that I had 5 Twizzlers today, has me in a shame spiral, only because I vowed no sugar today.
But why do I feel this way? Yes, yes, I know society puts pressure on women to be thin and perfect and have the ability to wear a size 0. Which I haven't fit since like um, never. I remember being a size 6, but then I had no hips and my breasts hadn't been seduced by the effects of Ortho-Tricyclen, leaving them inflated like so many helium balloons. I mean these things got bigger when I was 20, isn't puberty supposed to stop before then??
I could say that my obsession with what I put in my mouth on a daily, hourly basis is rooted in the fact that "it's the only thing I can control in my life" but I'm no bulimic or anorexic, just a typical American woman. Sadly this is true, we are constantly trying to lose that last 5, 15, 20, 30 pounds, whatever.
And while I have been making quite an effort over the last year, I've definitely lost inches, gained muscles, and lost about 15 pounds and am currently training for a half-marathon (yes, pat on the back). So yes, I should feel good about these accomplishments if you will, but, yeah there's always that voice in the back of your mind saying it's not enough. So yeah I get derailed occasionally, with crack pie at the Momofuku Milk Bar and photos of plates of fried chicken make me salivate. But I shouldn't feel bad about enjoying a meal.
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