Learning from "Secret Life"

I've made it no secret that I enjoy watching "The Secret Life on the American Teenager" or just "Secret Life" as I prefer to call it. Watching this show has earned me much by ridicule from friends and family (my sister). But after a marathon session of an earlier season my sister became a convert and has become just as invested in the show as I am. It didn't hurt that Molly Ringwald and Mark Derwin played the parents. Derwin was a draw for us because he was the original A.C. Mallet on Guiding Light, a show we both loved.

That aside, after last night's episode, "Young at Heart" I realized why I liked this show so much. In this second half of season 3, we find Amy and Ricky, attempting to have a real relationship now that their baby is a one-year old. This development could have easily devolved into them just turning to having a very sexual relationship, but Amy is determined to make sure that their relationship is not just about that. This marked a real evolution of both characters on this show, they've had to mature quicker than the average teen and it was interest to watch this played out on screen.

Over the last few episodes, Amy has tried to seduce Ricky, proposed marriage, rescinded that offer, talked about living together, to backing out all together. All the while the prospect of sex has been on the table. Ricky is putting the pressure on her for sex, telling her that he loved her, that made her happy and yet she still said no, that they'd do it when she was ready. Is she just being a tease or what? What last night's episode showed she admitted to not being confident sexually, but also she wants to see how long/if Ricky can hold out. Which I have to say is incredibly smart on her part, she is dealing with someone that has a very promiscuous past, who was afraid to be tested for STDs and who is always running into sex partners. Sure by holding out she runs the risk of him cheating but it is a calculated risk, if he cheats now, then she knows he's unworthy and would have saved herself the heartbreak. Ricky is faced with the dilemma of waiting for Amy or having sex with someone has done it with in the past, so that when this woman shows up at his door, he doesn't answer her knock. Instead at the end of the episode when find Ricky working through his frustrations hitting golf balls and then teaching Amy.

I will admit that I find many aspects of this show unrealistic, are teens really having these conversations with their parents about sex? Like how many times they've done it, or if they should wait. Are parents really this meddlesome in talking to their daughter's boyfriends and asking them to wait. Or buying them condos because their kids have found themselves in a family. Do teenagers really believe that you can find your soul mate in high school?

Having watched more than my fair share of "16 & Pregnant" and "Teen Mom". I would say that a lot of teens who find themselves in the situation of having a baby in high school, do want to stay with their partners and give their child something many of them didn't have, two parents in a happy marriage. As we've seen it hasn't really worked out that way for many of them. The view on "Secret Life" is an idealized one in which, after some work, there is an open and honest dialogue between parents and teens about sex and their lives. So while this show is sometimes mired in melodrama (I'm looking at you Grace); story lines I don't care for (appearances from Jennifer Coolidge and Dominic Chianese) and religiosity (Jack, Grace) it can still be a useful tool in conveying important information to teens and their parents that many aren't getting in school these days.

Maybe because I yearn for the days of the after school special is one of the reasons that I love this show. All I know is that creator and executive producer Brenda Hampton and ABCFamily have created some truly addicting television.